I was thinking again today about how children tend to not think of their parents as real people. We have feelings, hopes, dreams, disappointments, struggles, and so forth, just like they do. I am always amazed at how unsupportive my children are of me when I'm dealing with something. I know that they are compassionate people because they are champions to their friends who may be dealing with similiar issues. Why is that? Why are our own children less supportive and understanding to us than they are to their friends or even strangers?

I woke up this morning stiff and achey again. Dizzy spells and headache soon followed. I woke up extra early because my 7th grader didn't hear her alarm for 10 minutes, then she snoozed it and I got to hear it again (5:30 am). So I went downstairs to hang out in the livingroom. The doors were open and the cool crisp air was rushing in engulfing the main living areas. I laid down on the couch and set pillows on me like a blanket. It smelled so refreshing. Scriptures aren't til 6:15 so I had plenting of time to enjoy the cool air. The little kitten we have (Tootles is her name) is full of energy and running and jumping and climbing (real spazzy). I wished I had the $300+ to de-claw her and fix her. She's scratching the crap out of my beautiful furniture. I have tried different coverups to help minimize the damage, but they don't stay on. Now, mind you, I do have the ability, talent, and equipment to make slipcovers (like I have throughout my adult married life), but I've had a hard time deciding on the color; I found the perfect fabric but only 3 yards (I need over 30); plus the design of the furniture is such that it will be quite a challenge getting slipcovers to fit well and stay on. I am alittle bummed about not being able to find enough of the right fabric.
I've been in a weird mood this morning, mostly sad about the loss of my brother, and feeling so bad for my brother Mathew who is struggling so hard with the death of PD. Mathew is such an amazing guy. He has this warm strong gentle spirit about him. I love just being in the same room, he makes me feel safe and that there really is beautiful spirits here on earth. He's lucky, he's gorgeous and has this amazing spirit.
Anyway, I read a little of the blog of Stephanie Nielson again this morning. Made me cry again, but she is inspiring and has a gentle spirit about her too. I want to contact her and tell her how much her blog inspires me, one of these days I'll get her email or something so I can share my thoughts with her, not that she cares to hear from an old lady like me. But I do feel I have an interesting story and she might benefit from hearing support from someone else.
I baked some cakes yesterday and today to decorate for my granddaughters' birthday and to do a cake for Kate who got cupcakes on her birthday and she really wanted a cake, so I'm making her an un-birthday birthday cake. She'll love it I'm sure.

I've got a yummy healthy bread recipe I learned from a neighbor years ago, I've altered it now that I know more healthy stuff. And it still works out awesome.


Deonna's Wheat Bread (4 loaves) (My Family likes bigger loaves so I make 3)
In a Large Plastic Bowl combine these first set of ingredients.

4 C "warm" water (I use a quart jar because it's four cups exactly)
2 T yeast (I keep the container and the Tablespoon in the freezer ready to go)
1/2 C Unrefined Sugar
3 T Organic Honey (optional)
4 C Whole Wheat Flour (I keep the Cup in the flour bucket ready to go)

------------Mix, set aside lightly covered (shower cap-sprayed inside with pam) in large plastic bowl for 45 minutes to 1 hour. The mixture will be bubbly and spongy looking--gooey and nasty looking is perfect. Don't be afraid of the goo.
------------then add

1/2 C vegetable oil (safflower oil is better)
1 heaping T Sea Salt
2 T Dough enhancer (this helps make softer bread, get some from a health food store (Leavitt's in St. George), or some grocery stores and I've even seen it at Walmart in the grocery section by the flour)
1/2 C Wheat Gluten (same places for this) (Now I keep these two ingredients in their own container with the proper measuring utensils stored in them so they are ready to go)

-------------Mix well enough to be combined, then add
3-4 C Whole Wheat Flour
Sometimes I add 1 C Brown Rice Flour (I grind that up in my grinder too) to replace one of the Cups of wheat flour. Doesn't matter in taste, just a twist in health variations. I am going to try the multi grain flour mix that Leavitt's sell and see if that still tastes good and works out okay.

-------------Mix well enough that the ingredients are combined. I start mixing it in the bowl with my hands, til most of the stuff is mixed then I dump it out on the floured surface (countertop) and then I kneed it with my hands so that it's incorporated together. Don't over kneed, this is lazy bread. The stuff should be slightly sticky/soft. Just make sure the ingredients are combined then set back inside the messy plastic bowl you've been using all along, lightly covered for 1 hour + (I use a shower cap I got a package of 8 from the dollar store).
Knock down and kneed dough to get air bubbles out(only takes a couple turns), cut into 4 (3 for me) equal sections, roll in loaf shape, set in lightly greased loaf pan (I use pam), set aside for 1 hour+ (too long does create flatter bread cuz the air bubbles get too big and they knock themselves down during baking or right after)

Bake 350 degrees oven for 25-29 minutes.
Cool on rack (I take the loaves out of their pans immediately), cooling takes a couple hours or half a day to cool down enough to put into plastic bags so they don't sweat and make your bread all sweaty wet/soggy. Even if you leave them out a little too long, you may think cuz they feel a little hard, they do soften up in the bag.

Tip: leave plastic bowl out to air dry because it makes for easier clean up after the flour gooey mess is all dried out, the stuff will easily flake out, then wash with very little water. So, this technique saves on excess water usage, and labor.

Happy Baking. It's yummy yummy bread.