I was thinking again today about how children tend to not think of their parents as real people. We have feelings, hopes, dreams, disappointments, struggles, and so forth, just like they do. I am always amazed at how unsupportive my children are of me when I'm dealing with something. I know that they are compassionate people because they are champions to their friends who may be dealing with similiar issues. Why is that? Why are our own children less supportive and understanding to us than they are to their friends or even strangers?

I woke up this morning stiff and achey again. Dizzy spells and headache soon followed. I woke up extra early because my 7th grader didn't hear her alarm for 10 minutes, then she snoozed it and I got to hear it again (5:30 am). So I went downstairs to hang out in the livingroom. The doors were open and the cool crisp air was rushing in engulfing the main living areas. I laid down on the couch and set pillows on me like a blanket. It smelled so refreshing. Scriptures aren't til 6:15 so I had plenting of time to enjoy the cool air. The little kitten we have (Tootles is her name) is full of energy and running and jumping and climbing (real spazzy). I wished I had the $300+ to de-claw her and fix her. She's scratching the crap out of my beautiful furniture. I have tried different coverups to help minimize the damage, but they don't stay on. Now, mind you, I do have the ability, talent, and equipment to make slipcovers (like I have throughout my adult married life), but I've had a hard time deciding on the color; I found the perfect fabric but only 3 yards (I need over 30); plus the design of the furniture is such that it will be quite a challenge getting slipcovers to fit well and stay on. I am alittle bummed about not being able to find enough of the right fabric.
I've been in a weird mood this morning, mostly sad about the loss of my brother, and feeling so bad for my brother Mathew who is struggling so hard with the death of PD. Mathew is such an amazing guy. He has this warm strong gentle spirit about him. I love just being in the same room, he makes me feel safe and that there really is beautiful spirits here on earth. He's lucky, he's gorgeous and has this amazing spirit.
Anyway, I read a little of the blog of Stephanie Nielson again this morning. Made me cry again, but she is inspiring and has a gentle spirit about her too. I want to contact her and tell her how much her blog inspires me, one of these days I'll get her email or something so I can share my thoughts with her, not that she cares to hear from an old lady like me. But I do feel I have an interesting story and she might benefit from hearing support from someone else.
I baked some cakes yesterday and today to decorate for my granddaughters' birthday and to do a cake for Kate who got cupcakes on her birthday and she really wanted a cake, so I'm making her an un-birthday birthday cake. She'll love it I'm sure.

I've got a yummy healthy bread recipe I learned from a neighbor years ago, I've altered it now that I know more healthy stuff. And it still works out awesome.


Deonna's Wheat Bread (4 loaves) (My Family likes bigger loaves so I make 3)
In a Large Plastic Bowl combine these first set of ingredients.

4 C "warm" water (I use a quart jar because it's four cups exactly)
2 T yeast (I keep the container and the Tablespoon in the freezer ready to go)
1/2 C Unrefined Sugar
3 T Organic Honey (optional)
4 C Whole Wheat Flour (I keep the Cup in the flour bucket ready to go)

------------Mix, set aside lightly covered (shower cap-sprayed inside with pam) in large plastic bowl for 45 minutes to 1 hour. The mixture will be bubbly and spongy looking--gooey and nasty looking is perfect. Don't be afraid of the goo.
------------then add

1/2 C vegetable oil (safflower oil is better)
1 heaping T Sea Salt
2 T Dough enhancer (this helps make softer bread, get some from a health food store (Leavitt's in St. George), or some grocery stores and I've even seen it at Walmart in the grocery section by the flour)
1/2 C Wheat Gluten (same places for this) (Now I keep these two ingredients in their own container with the proper measuring utensils stored in them so they are ready to go)

-------------Mix well enough to be combined, then add
3-4 C Whole Wheat Flour
Sometimes I add 1 C Brown Rice Flour (I grind that up in my grinder too) to replace one of the Cups of wheat flour. Doesn't matter in taste, just a twist in health variations. I am going to try the multi grain flour mix that Leavitt's sell and see if that still tastes good and works out okay.

-------------Mix well enough that the ingredients are combined. I start mixing it in the bowl with my hands, til most of the stuff is mixed then I dump it out on the floured surface (countertop) and then I kneed it with my hands so that it's incorporated together. Don't over kneed, this is lazy bread. The stuff should be slightly sticky/soft. Just make sure the ingredients are combined then set back inside the messy plastic bowl you've been using all along, lightly covered for 1 hour + (I use a shower cap I got a package of 8 from the dollar store).
Knock down and kneed dough to get air bubbles out(only takes a couple turns), cut into 4 (3 for me) equal sections, roll in loaf shape, set in lightly greased loaf pan (I use pam), set aside for 1 hour+ (too long does create flatter bread cuz the air bubbles get too big and they knock themselves down during baking or right after)

Bake 350 degrees oven for 25-29 minutes.
Cool on rack (I take the loaves out of their pans immediately), cooling takes a couple hours or half a day to cool down enough to put into plastic bags so they don't sweat and make your bread all sweaty wet/soggy. Even if you leave them out a little too long, you may think cuz they feel a little hard, they do soften up in the bag.

Tip: leave plastic bowl out to air dry because it makes for easier clean up after the flour gooey mess is all dried out, the stuff will easily flake out, then wash with very little water. So, this technique saves on excess water usage, and labor.

Happy Baking. It's yummy yummy bread.

Recycling - just thinking that . . . .

I have a challenge for you. Try recycling everything and anything you can for one week and see how much stuff you really could be recycling. I think you would be totally surprised at how much stuff you throw into the landfill that could be re-used and re-purposed and not left in the landfill to be there forever.

I challenged myself a couple months ago to do more than I had been. I purchased several garbage containers and marked them for the different areas of recycling. (Paper, aluminum, tin/metal cans, plastics light and heavy, and glass) At first it didn't seem like much, but after a week I had to empty the paper and plastic containers and recycle them in the pods by the school by my house. I was totally surprised how much paper that can be recycled, there is soooo much from the mail, newspapers dropped in our from yard, advertisements in the mail, extra papers from mis-prints, papers from the kid's school stuff and the list goes on. I even take the labels of the soup cans and such and recycle the paper from them when I smash down the cans for recycling. The milk jugs and juice jugs really add up too. Oh, and cereal boxes, plastic lining and lightweight paperboard on the outside that paper can also be recycled. That pile builds up quickly at my house. When I go through the junk mail I pull out all the plastic windows in the envelopes and recycle the paper, I was surprised the other day how many envelopes I had recycled for the week, it was a pretty tall stack. I feel better about not leaving such a big footprint on the environment now. All that plastic I had been throwing into the landfill which would never ever disappear just breaks my heart. I'm far more conscientious now. I feel better about recycling. It is more effort and takes some dedication but I feel the extra effort is worth it in the long run. I can only imagine how big of a difference just my family is making and if more would follow in being more dutiful in recycling the difference would be HUGE!!!!

So take the challenge and find out for yourself how much stuff you could be recycling I really think you would be totally surprised. 7 days of a little effort and you will see the pile, and after a month it will be a tall stack I'm sure.

Paul or PD as we call him is one of the most amazing people I know. He's in the hospital right now fighting for his life. While waiting for the desperately needed bone marrow transplant he got a fungus in his lungs and now he's trying to recover from that enough so that he can start the process of destroying what's left of his existing bone marrow so that he can have the new transplant marrow from a donor in switzerland. Finding a donor with so many matching requirements is rare and they found one. This man is an angel for PD. PD deserves one in his court because he has been one for others.

PD has been a selfless little brother. He sacrificed his own health to try and save not just one but two of his older sisters. In 1988 he donated his bone marrow through the process of extraction which meant they had to screw through the bone to extract marrow over 100 times. (When I was tested to see who I matched they extracted some of my marrow and the process is extremely uncomfortable. I can still feel where they did the procedure. I can only imagine the pain he must have gone through for his sisters) After that extruciating experience the marrow didn't graft, so he donated again. The poor guy limped and had a hard time sitting and sleeping for a long time because they extracted the marrow from the bones from his upper backside. Unfortunately, it didn't take again and my sister Paula died in the BMT Unit in California.

In 1991 he donated his bone marrow again through the extraction style now for the third time. This time for Michelle. Shortly after healing from that surgery, and was there supporting my sister while she suffered through all the horrific procedures they did in the BMT experience, she did not graft. This was devastating. PD didn't hesitate he jumped and was preparing to do the surgery again, when to all of our dismay, my sister died from a fungal infection in her lungs.

He has been so selfless and supportive his whole life. When my brother Mathew was in the hospital in 2003 for his bone marrow transplant, Paul sat by his side day after day after day. He couldn't donate his marrow this time because he wasn't a match, he would have at the drop of the hat. My sister Joleen donated her stem T-cells a new way that marrow is harvested. This time the BMT worked and Mathew survived. Now Mathew is returning the favor and is being there for PD for his BMT.

Paul has been a loving kind person. He deserves to have this transplant work. He deserves to recover and to live a full life. May God please please bless this young man and give him a long life.

Yummy new (to me) sandwich I've been making alot lately -

scrabbled egg
bacon strips
tomato
lettuce
avacado

on toasted bread

It's easy and yet so yummy. We've also made it into a triple decker and added homefries (or hashbrowns) with alittle ketchup on them, too. We call that sandwich the ultimate breakfast sandwich.

Being Overlooked -

I've been dwelling on the matter of how our family has been overlooked in this new ward, we moved into last January. We have had to beg and beg for home teachers and still no one comes, and it's at the end of August, not one visit, we don't even know who they are. I had to repeatedly beg for visiting teachers. When I finally got a visit, several months after being in the neighborhood, when one of them came to the door she wouldn't come in and said "I'm lame, I don't do visiting teaching, I'm too busy so this is what you get" I stood there in total confusion. Seriously then don't accept a call to be a visiting teacher. Don't wait several months to finally visit and then insult the sister by saying your lame and don't do visiting teaching.
We've asked for callings, I've asked to be a visiting teacher repeatedly, and I've asked for help and have been totally ignored. I don't understand that. I don't understand a ward, especially a bishop who is in charge of a ward, who desperately needs people to fill callings, refuses to call willing and motivated and eager members to serve in callings. Does that make sense? No. We haven't transgressed to disallow us to serve, we go to church, we pay our tithing, we have family scripture study and prayer. So, why would a bishop not want to put good members to work serving in his ward? I can only think of one reason, he has a thing against people who rent, which we do. I have had this experience before in another ward years ago, the bishop never did call us to anything. It's strange. I am so hurt by the fact that somehow somewhere this ward's leadership for some unknown reason doesn't think it's important to fellowship and support this family. How awful.
I just found out that the home teachers I've been begging for to visit us, fellowship us, love and care for us is the bishop himself. Seriously what bishop would totally dis a family. We have gone to him requesting home teachers and he got seriously defensive and at that time we didn't know he was our home teacher, we were soooo confused at his reaction, now it makes a little sense, he must be feeling a little guilty, not enough to come and be our home teachers but enough to be defensive and rude.
I hope that this is an isolated situation. I hope other families don't have to feel sooooooo neglected and ignored. I know that's not how I feel and believe that Heavenly Father and Jesus want their faithful servants to feel or to be treated.
All I can think of and am determined to do is to move away from such poor treatment. Maybe church isn't worth going to here. It is a sad day when the leadership in this ward are so insensitive and disrespectful to it's members. I'd really like to call him on it and make him repent, but I don't think it's worth the effort. Anyway. I'll be alright. (once we move)